Cigarettes- like religion, but less harmful

Ripples spreading across a still pond.
The sound of a stone plunging into water.
Drinking water when you are Really thirsty.
That first cigarette after you tried to give up.
The smile of a puppy sitting on your lap.

All things I enjoy.

I waited for you,
but you never came.
I watch for you,
Notice your name.
I looked forward to talking,
It is quite a shame.


I know in my heart,
It can't be the same.

Golden clouds drift lazily across a purple sky, and as I look out through my window I think to myself, with so much beauty here, so much we don't understand, why do we need anything beyond this? Why indeed.

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I thought as I smoked - I enjoy being ruled by cigarettes, it is easier believing there is something that has power over you, something greater than yourself. It makes it easier to justify your actions, and allows yoy to take less responsibility for your choices. Cigarettes and religion...more similar than I imagined.

A message for YOU

Hello,
How are you?
Been a long time...maybe even another life since we spoke. Although whether you can call this talking is debatable. One way communication, if you can call it that, forces you to listen, or read rather. However, I have nothing to say, which is ironic really.

I like you. yes, you. I think you are nice. Perhaps even special. Is that strange? It's all relative really, and yet unrelated.

I'm done now.

my stomach dropped out,
a small whirlpool spinning out.

open for a moment,
closed forever.

Vincible

There has never been, nor will there ever be a truer moment than now.

I prefer to start sentances without knowing where they will go, that way I can experience exitment, dissapointment, and surprise, all without concsious effort.

If a cat sits still for long enough, does it become a dog?

When counting the raindrops on a fish, don't move backwards.

Four apples in the morning, doesnt stop the sunrise.

Lost in an instant

Twisted words neslted in my head,
diluted thoughts of a forgotten past.
Speaking silently to a voice I thought I knew,
When I awoke I realised I had never been asleep.

I told myself she had moved forward to me,
I told myself it was the music that brought her,
I told myself that I was the only one,
and I told myself that I was free.

Myself spoke back "You've crossed a line,"
"this is not real,"
"you were not there,"
"come out of yourself and back to your life."

The lights have blurred now as I look across,
My eyes are watery and my mouth is dry.
Speaking silently to a voice I thought I knew,
When I awoke I realised I had never been asleep.

The smell of heat

Watching me watching you?

Water runs from an open tap,
and down an open drain.
An idea dies as it is born,
to be thought up again.

I watched a magpie dance, hopping, flapping, picking at the ground.
I don't know if it was aware of me, but I'm sure it looked my way, and it guided my thoughts into an avenue of contemplation. How much are we aware of what is around us? How much have we evolved to shut out? Is there such a thing as survival?...It's just a matter of time for all of us anyway...and time is just a measurement of decay.

Ramblings of a tired cat. Tired and hungry.

How far up is the sky?

I wonder if it starts above my head,
if i can reach up and touch it.
Of course then i realise that you are not in the sky untill you can taste the blue.

Sometimes i have clouds inside my head, swirling, grey and tense.
As soft as they are they are always tense.
Anticipation for precipitation.
Rain on the way, ready to drown out my senses.

Do you ever wonder why you tell yourself that some of the voices in your head are right and some are wrong? which voice is it that decides?